Most women experience a change in their nipples during the occasions you mentioned. The nipples are very sensitive and everything from sexual arousal to something as simple as a cold breeze can cause them to get harder or “scrunched up” as you describe. It is perfectly normal and not weird. There is really nothing you can do to make this go away, but if it bothers you, just be sure to wear a bra with enough lining that your nipples won’t show through if they unexpectedly change.
Even if it seems weird and gross to you, I think you've just described typical nipples. The cold or sexual activity affects them and makes them change in shape, texture and hardness. And although they may seem "normal" to you when they're one way, remember that the other version of them -- cold or aroused -- is also normal. Remember, your face looks one way when you're emotionless, but changes pretty drastically when you smile. It's kind of the same effect here, where different experiences cause a change that's not necessarily good or bad. It just is. Try not to think of your nipples as good, bad, weird or gross. They're just typical and are adjusting to the changes around them.
Although it might seem unusual to you (or maybe even a little gross, as you put it!), your nipples shrinking up is totally normal! Your nipples are very sensitive little organs! When they are stimulated either by touch, cold temperatures or sexual arousal, they harden (actually become erect) and part of that response is for the brown part (the areola) to shrink and wrinkle. It is kind of like a muscle contraction. That response also sets off a whole cascade of feel-good chemical hormones in your brain.
Next time it happens, even though it seems strange, try to remind yourself that it is one of those amazing things that your body just does. It even happens in both men and women!
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