Dog looking at hand holding mobile phone

To: You

From: Your Period

Re: Some things I’d like you to know

Hey girl,

It’s me again. Your period. I’m here to stay with you for another week and I just wanted to clear a few things up.

I feel like you and I may have gotten off on the wrong foot. There are a lot of rumors going around about me and then I kinda snuck up on you that one day and ruined your skirt (I feel really bad about that, by the way). We just didn’t hit it off. But I swear I’m just misunderstood! I think once you learn a few things about me, you’ll see I’m not a total brat.

  1. Your mom and I are LIKETHIS. And I’m pretty close with your friends’ moms, aunts, older sisters, and female teachers too. I know you might be embarrassed to tell your mom that we’re hanging out, but the fact is, your mom and I have actually known each other for a long time! Trust me when I say that no woman who has known me for a while is surprised by anything I can do. If you ever have any questions about me or you have a problem with me, don’t hesitate to ask them for help.
  2. You should get to know my BFFs: pads ands tampons. I’m cool on my own, but pads and tampons will actually make your life a lot more fun when I’m in the house. Pads always have your back and tampons will get you into the swimming pool. I know tampons can seem intimidating at first, but don’t a lot of good friends? If you want an introduction, check out this video on using a tampon for the first time.
  3. Some guys are totally afraid of me. Your brothers and your male classmates might make obnoxious comments about me, but it’s just because they are honestly a little scared of me. Don’t let them make you feel like I’m bad or wrong; I’m awesome. You’re awesome. Together we can do really cool things, things that guys could never do.
  4. I’m hungry! You probably already know this; it seems like whenever I come over, I raid your kitchen for all the chips and salsa and chocolate chip cookies the whole time I’m there. Look, I’m not trying to make you eat a lot of junk food -- I’m just hungry. For tips on what to feed me, check out this article on better period nutrition.
  5. I come and go as I please. I’m a free spirit, OK? Sometimes I want to be on time and other times, I’m unpredictable. And I might come to you for the first time years before I go to all your friends; it really depends on the girl I’m staying with. Don’t worry too much if I change things up every now and then. And definitely check out this article on what might cause me to be a bit irregular.
  6. I like the décor down here. I know you aren’t sure what to think about your vulva – there’s this hair, or that mole, and your labia aren’t perfectly symmetrical – but I think you look great!
  7. I don’t mean to make you cry. I know that sometimes when you find out I’m coming to stay with you for the week, you get really cranky and emotional. I honestly don’t mean to hurt your feelings, but I do think that being emotional is a good thing sometimes. Have you noticed that when I’m around, I often let you know what’s really bothering you? And I give you the courage to tell people how you’re really feeling? Maybe a monthly check of your emotions is a good thing!
  8. I’m not dirty. So please don’t think you need to douche when I’m around. You can clean your labia and outer parts with warm water and mild soap if you want to feel fresher.
  9. I love babies! So if you think you can’t get pregnant when I’m around, think again!
  10. No one really cares about me. I don’t mean to get all “Woe is me,” but you have to know that no one really cares about me as much as you might think they do. The security agent at the airport? The checkout girl at the grocery store? Yeah…they already know me. They’re over me. They don’t really think much of it when you hang out with me.

I really hope we can be friends. Can I have another chance?




@neonmud, You're sure the tampon is saturated? When they're still somewhat dry they can be uncomfortable to remove.

" - Maggie (UbyK Mom)
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